Angel Dust
by Disciple Of The Dragon Star
Summary: It took a lot for Jack Atlas to cry. Set at the moment of Carly's death. Retributionshipping JackxCarly.


It took a lot for Jack Atlas to cry.

All his life he'd thought that men - especially those destined for greatness like he was - never cried, never expressed their feelings but remained stoic and expressionless, looking at the world with a calm and detached eye, locking those annoying emotions away in their innermost mind. Like they say, real men don't cry. _They _were supposed to be the strong ones._ They _were supposed to be the clever ones. He wasn't a chauvinist (who would be especially with Martha as a foster mother?) but somewhere along the line, he'd picked up these traditional thoughts. In the poverty stricken surroundings of Satellite, surrounded by suffering, a small boy had grown up to meet these inner demands and find his place in the world.

So why did he cry?

As he held Carly's fast dissolving body in his arms, he cried out, begging with her, pleading with her not to leave him, to stay. To stay by his side.

"Jack..." she whispered one last time. Her beautiful grey eyes, grey as the morning mist on faraway mountains, unobscured by those ridiculous glasses gleamed. Then the life faded out of them as he caught his breath, and the fragile body he held crumbling away to ashes that streaked off into the dark blue sky - and dissolved into nothingness.

He looked after them, his heart throbbing with pain and with each beat seemed to call _come back, come back, come back_. Or was it _Carly, Carly, Carly, Carly?_ He couldn't tell anymore. What did it matter? Nothing. His love - and everything else that mattered, that had made his life seem remotely bearable was gone. She had taken it with her.

He cried.

He cried for a poor innocent girl who had the misfortune to be caught up in this whole business. He cried for the wasted life of a sweet woman with dreams and aspirations, a tree that had been cut down before it had a chance to flower. He cried for those memories, so tangible and real. The memory of her lively laugh, the vivacious sparkle in her eye, the careless headalong way she rushed into things. The sweet gentle, womanly way in which she strove to make the world a better place for her dreams. The stubborn pout of her mouth, the determined set in her jaw as she fought against the impossible, the inevitable. He remembered the unassuming, generous eagerness with which she took care of him at her flat - cooking him meals, making sure that he was comfortable, running here and there to find things that would please him. He remembered the days they had spent together, the one ridiculously fun date they'd had at the amusement park, that he had actually enjoyed despite his cool exterior.

Jack remembered the touch of her slender hand on his arm, guiding him. The look in gray eyes as he had left her. Why? _Why? _Why had he left her? Had he looked after her and stayed, or maybe taken her with him as he'd promised -

_"Someday when this is all over, I promise I'll tell you everything_."

Her eyes, although hidden by the glasses had filled with tears and even though he made a show of remaining untouched, his heart cried within him.

A sudden hatred filled his heart. Hatred for Divine, for the Dark Signers, for the Crimson Dragon who had guided his destiny, for Godwin and for the whole goddamn lot of them that had landed him in this goddamn mess. Hatred for everything that had taken _his _Carly away. No matter what anyone said or how much time passed, his mind would still play those goddamn stupid games of What If? What if he hadn't left her? What if she'd come with him?It was torture to him, and no amount of soothsaying was going to put this little mess right. _What if I refused to fight?_ he wondered with half his head while the other half rolled around with hysterical laughter at the very thought. _Defy God?_ He got up slowly, fists clenched, but then suddenly an image of Carly's face swam before his eyes, not as he had last seen her but as he remembered from the old days, laughing and tossing her long dark hair over her shoulder. Her face was screwed up with merriment. Then words from a different scene seemed to flash through his head.

_"The old Jack Atlas died in the battle with Yusei Fudo. Now it's time for the real Jack Atlas to live!"_

Slowly his fists unclenched and he hung his head. Carly would not have wanted him to waste his life on hatred. She would have wanted him to fight on, not only for her own sake, but for the sake of the whole world. That was his duty. To keep fighting and honor the memory of the girl who had sacrificed herself to keep him alive. Even at the cost of his life, he would never let that memory be dishonoured. Ever.

Sudden light all around him snapped him out of it and as he looked back up, golden glowing dust seemed to be falling from the sky. _Angel dust_, he thought childishly then shook the thought away. But he realised it was the truth. She had been his guardian angel, saving him from himself. And now she wanted to let him know that she was always going to be there.

Tears formed in the magnificent violet eyes and streamed, reflecting the light like the most precious diamonds, down Jack's pale cheeks. His heart throbbed with the strange unearthly beauty of the dust that he could not, would not look away from. It had the strange fascination of all painful things, and he watched as it settled on his shoulders and his near surroundings, illuminating the outlines with a soft golden glow. A small spark settled on his outstretched hand and he smiled through his tears as a comforting warmth spread through his heart and body. It was _her _all right.

_Hi Jack._ The voice issued inside his head, sounding calm and serene.

"Carly." The word tasted like fire in his mouth.

_I'll be fine Jack. _She sounded more lively. _I'll always be there for you. In your heart._

"That's not enough."

_But I'll be there won't I? Keep fighting Jack. The world needs you and your powers. I'll always be waiting for you. Always. Even death cannot last forever to keep us apart. Think of it as mist. I've disappeared up ahead but you'll catch up with me soon. But it's not your time._

"I...miss you."

_Already?_

"..."

_I will always be there. Death is not death unless you've been forgotten. And I'm sure I'll be in your mind, heart and soul. Forever. Goodbye Jack. _

The golden dust began to dim and fade out of sight. But just at the very last moment, the remaining light coalesced together and formed a pale shimmering image of a woman with long dark hair and grey eyes. Jack cried out and reached to touch her cheek but his fingers went right through her face. Carly smile sadly and then said three short words that changed his life forever.

"I love you."

Stunned, Jack withdrew his hand and watched as she suddenly, impishly laughed, face transforming into the vivacious look he knew so well. Then the light streaked in an unrecognisable blur towards the sky. And vanished.

"I love you too," he whispered.

But the only ones who heard the ultimate expression of feeling from Jack Atlas were the coldly glimmering stars that stained the dark heavens with a soft white light.


End file.
